Which Way is Up?

My head and stomach are still reeling from the past few days' events. After only 5 years it looks like another of my marriages has bit the dust.

This time, though, it's not due to any specific shortcomings, it's just an inability to meld our 2 lives in a way that we're both happy and comfortable. 

Without going into  a lot of details something happened that appeared to show a huge rift in our marriage. It opened my eyes and when we discussed it the possibility of not staying together was prominent. 

After a couple more days I could see that what had happened was not meant to be as serious as it looked and told Rick that I would like to see if we could make some changes to try to make our marriage work.

He said no.

Besides the things that I could see that we needed to work on there was one thing that could not be helped: my being a JW.

I guess it's mostly the assumption of what JWs are like. Not that anyone was uncomfortable around me particularly, I didn't go around preaching to them. But they possibly felt unable to be themselves, they felt they had to watch their p's and q's (which I appreciated). Rick misses having his family dropping in. He misses having the holidays under his own roof (even though he's agnostic). He didn't - WE didn't realize that he would miss those things. We didn't know his family wouldn't visit. He does the holidays with his family but he didn't know he wanted his own celebration.

But there's a silver lining to this cloud of doom - this frees me up to help my parents more by staying with them the bulk of the time. Almost like an answer to our prayers! Not the way I wanted it to happen - I'll miss Rick terribly, he's a great guy, I love him lots and I truly enjoy his company - but sometimes that's the way it goes. We were both happy single and will get there again.

About Me

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After 2 unsuccessful marriages I spent 12 years as a divorcee, only to fall prey to another man's wiles. We had a fun 5 years together and then he decided he wanted more freedom so once again I'm single.

So I'm freshly divorced at 57 and have 5 great kids and now 7 grandkids. My kids are still a major part of my life but I'm busy helping my aging parents on Kauai.

I've lived in California, Hawaii and Oklahoma before finally settling here in Washington. I love Washington and come back to visit family, friends and take care of my garden often but will be temporarily a resident of Kauai.

I've moved 30 times in my life (no, my parents weren't in the service, at least not since I was about 2) and finally planted roots when I got my little house that I've owned since '91.

My family are Jehovah's Witnesses, I've been one since '72.