What Do I Say?

There are so many directions to go to write about this memorial that 2 of my daughters-in-law and I attended last week, I just don't know how to approach it.

It was astounding.

To meet family members of a horrendous crime such as happened to our dear sister Whitney Heichel down in Oregon and have them actually consoling US was a shock, to say the least.  So many people would want to simply crawl into a hole and ask to be left alone and no one would blame them.

Chelsea had determined that she wasn't going to say anything because she didn't know what to say.  Does anyone?  What do you say to someone who's lost their daughter/wife/sister to a creep who kidnapped, raped and murdered her?  Someone who, no doubt, spent their last hours with their heart racing in terror?  We all hope that the agony ended quickly.  But that's not what you say.  We're grateful there was a quick answer to what happened to Whitney.  But you don't say that. 

I do wonder if there was a discussion of how the family should act or if their positive, downright happy appearance was genuine.  I just can't fathom being able to be so cheerful after such an awful event.

After driving 3+ hours, then waiting an hour in a line that snaked it's way through the one side of the double kingdom hall before meeting the family in the opposite end we were - - - surprised? to see the family greet us with hugs and smiles!  There were about 20 family members and not one of them had tears.  But there were lots of smiles.  When I thanked them for allowing the public (including my group) to participate they gave me wide eyes and told me how great it is for THEM to have such enormous support from so many people, at this open house there were as many as 3000 according to one source. 

It was like meeting celebrities.  But they're not, they're people just like the rest of us and they never thought anything like this would ever happen to them, the same like as we all think.

Seeing them in person and realizing that they were all normal people, living in normal places, working normal jobs definitely makes one realize how easily it could happen to any of us.  And, yes, we hear that all the time too.  But this made even that saying more real.  IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANY OF US...

One thing that Chelsea particularly was distraught about was seeing the area that Whitney was in when she was first abducted.  It was filled with businesses, cars and people.  And it would have been so at 7 in the morning, when she first "went missing".  She kept saying "Why didn't she do anything?"  There was so much she could have done.  So, to turn this tragedy into something more positive, we should all take note of what we can do if anything remotely like this happens to us:

If we're driving the car - wreck it, in town preferably.  Even if we have a gun on us.  Wreck it and jump out and run.  Screaming.

If we're not driving the car - jump out.  The minute there is any opportunity, a slow down for a turn or a light, open the door and fall or get out.  Then run.  Screaming.

If someone points a gun at us and we're on foot, run.  Screaming.  In a zig-zag path.

First and foremost - don't let the abductor get you to his/her destination.  Take control away from him/her.  Before they get to a remote place.

I got a wonderful email from a very deep-thinking sister and she made this interesting observation.  We should all be looking forward to being in the new system and welcoming back those deserving a resurrection. Imagine being able to tell Whitney that she helped you to resolve what to do in a bad situation...